i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
