i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize