I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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