She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
