You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I cut my penus on the lid.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
