oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
