this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize