It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
