Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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