It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
