With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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