Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
