I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
