So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
