And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
