So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
