Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
