Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
