Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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