sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
