the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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