I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it's like heaven, but drunker
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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