he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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