So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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