i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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