Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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