Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
