The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
