Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
