I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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