dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
