She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
