And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
