its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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