I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
