I am spending my child support on dildos
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
