Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sponge bath it is.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
