This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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