i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
