moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
