So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
All I want is dick and wine.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
