xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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