i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
