My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
