So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
