i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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