all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
