Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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