ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
