i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize