i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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