She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
