You made me cry and you don't even care
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
