i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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