I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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