I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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