'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
