So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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