Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
