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It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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