the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I skipped work to stalk him.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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