Screwed.edu
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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