Swine flu. Run for my life!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
