after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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