So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize