I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
