Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
