I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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